About Grief: Healthy Ways to Process the Loss of a Parent

If you have recently lost a parent, you may feel unprepared to deal with grief and loss. Grief is unique, and each individual’s experience with bereavement and grief can be as different as each life lived. There is no right or wrong way to deal with grief. Your feelings and experiences may differ from those you know, and that’s okay.  

As unique as each person is, grief is also a universal experience. Everyone encounters grief in their lifetime. Understanding what you may feel or experience as time passes can help you navigate your sorrow and loss. 

Understanding Your Grief

Grief is a deep, sometimes overwhelming, sorrow. We often feel grief when our reality is not what we hoped for, expected, or wanted. There are different theories on the stages or phases of grief. It is important to remember that each person experiences grief differently. Not everyone will experience every phase, and many people move through stages at different times and in diverse orders. There is no set timeline for grief. Some may grieve for a short period; many experience grief throughout their lives. Knowing how you deal with grief helps you recognize and name your emotions, make sense of behaviors or thoughts that you otherwise might not understand, and process your loss in a healthy way.

The Five Stages of Grief

The oldest and most popular theory of grieving is the five stages of grief by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross. In her book, On Death and Dying, published in 1969, Kubler-Ross outlines five stages that people typically tend to experience as they process grief. They are:

Denial

Denial includes feelings of shock, numbness, and confusion. It is our body’s way of protecting us from feelings of overwhelming loss while we process what has happened.

Anger

Our anger can be directed at others, ourselves, a higher power, the situation, or something else entirely. Individuals often feel anger as a grounding emotion that ties them back to the present.

Bargaining

Bargaining can feel like guilt, shame, and anxiety. Often, a person may ask “what if” questions about the past, overthink and worry, and ruminate about the future.

Depression

Depression can feel like intense sorrow, hopelessness, helplessness, and despair. It is a normal part of grieving. 

Acceptance

Acceptance is recognizing and engaging with reality as it is. It is not moving on but moving forward.

The Four Phases of Grief by John Bowlby

Based on parent-child theories of attachment by John Bowlby, Colin Murray Parkes wrote the four phases of mourning, which include:

• Shock and numbness
• Yearning and searching
• Despair and disorganization
• Reorganization and recovery

Moving Forward & Finding Peace

A healthy way of dealing with grief and loss is to address and process your emotions and feelings as you experience them. Be gentle and patient with yourself as you go through this process. Try not to force it, ignore it, or push it away. As you face your feelings and accept your new reality, you will be able to move forward and find peace. 

The 7-stage model of grief has three end stages that may guide you as you move forward. They are:

• The upward turn
• Reconstruction and working through
• Acceptance and hope

You can find meaning and peace as you process your loss and grief.

Activities That Can Support Your Grief Journey

Your grief journey can be very personal, but you do not have to suffer alone. Many printed, online, and in-person resources can help you on your journey. Personal activities that can support you include:

• Journaling
• Meditation
• Yoga
• Exercise
• Being out in nature
• Healthy eating
• Music
• Hobbies

You can also seek company and support from others as you process and heal, including:

• Joining a grief support group
• Finding a grief therapist or bereavement counselor services
• Joining a yoga, exercise, or hiking class or group
• Spending time with good friends and loved ones

Why Self-Care is Critical

Self-care is key to your long-term health and happiness. Love yourself, be patient with yourself, and celebrate your small and meaningful daily successes. As you care for yourself, you can successfully navigate your grief and become stronger and better. Self-care sets you up for a lifetime of success. 

Getting the Right Support

If you recently lost a loved one or are preparing to face the inevitable loss that happens in life, know that you are not alone. Many medical institutions and hospice care, including Dignity Home Health and Hospice, offer support for loved ones after a patient’s passing. Dignity also provides bereavement counselor services and spiritual support for loved ones processing the lost of an elderly loved one.

Dignity HHH Is Here for You After Hospice Care Ends

Dignity Home Health and Hospice offers care to patients who hope to live their lives as fully and meaningfully as possible. We also provide bereavement counseling to support loved ones before and after a patient’s passing, as grief lingers long after a funeral service ends. If you are feeling lost in grief, you are not alone. Learn more about our services or reach our team today by contacting Dignity HHH.